Six types of marriage relationships : Must Read

Six types of marriage relationships : Must Read

Marriage relationships come in different forms and dimensions. For the purposes of this discussion, we shall categorise them into six broad groups:

  1. Flatmates
  2. Money mates
  3. Sex mates
  4. Social mates
  5. Bickering mates
  6. Soul mates
  7. Flatmates

These are couples who live in the same house or apartment or even room but have little in common. The only thing that unites them is that they live in the same house. They hardly talk to each other. Every discussion degenerates into a quarrel or a fight. Therefore, they have chosen not to have anything in common except when absolutely necessary. Discussions are done most times via the phone to reduce the rate of physical interface. Sometimes discussions are done through notes dropped on paper with pen. Even children are used occasionally as communication channels. The marriage has broken down but the couple still cling to it for various reasons.

  1. Money mates

These are couples held together by money matters. The man or woman may be financially dependent on the other. There are school fees to pay, rent to pay, foodstuff to buy, clothing and footwear to buy as well as holiday bills, medical bills, social bills and the like to take care of. Because one of them takes care of the financial needs of the family, the other partner holds on to the marriage. The breadwinner is tolerated because of this.

The partners barely talk to each other. The breadwinner does whatever he or she likes. The other partner knows but looks away. The reasoning is that nothing should be done to disrupt the financial relationship.

Consequently, most times, the breadwinner gets arrogant and abusive and exudes impunity. The breadwinner dishes out sexual recklessness, physical abuse, psychological abuse, and brazen disrespect to the spouse. This ugly state of affair continues ad infinitum except the other party decides to rebel or start earning money, or there is a swap of financial conditions between the two.

Sex mates

These couples are also detached from one another. The only highpoint of their marriage is sex. It is the glue that holds them together. Sometimes during discussions with those who are close to them, they say it: “If there is one thing that keeps me in this marriage, it is the sex.” It may be that both of them are good in bed or sexually compatible or that the couple have such libido that ensures that they cannot do for long without sex.

Six types of marriage relationships : Must Read

They know that life without an official partner will mean having to regularly searching for a sex partner or burning with desire when that sex partner is not available. But in marriage, one does not necessarily have to climb the mountain or cross the river to have sex. One also does not need to fear being caught.

For sex mates, quarrelling with one’s partner does not put a nail on the coffin of lovemaking. They can quarrel in the evening before bedtime, go to bed in a bad frame of mind, and still touch each other on the bed, make love and sleep peacefully. When they wake up they next day, they continue their loveless marriage.

  1. Social mates

These are married couples who hang on to marriage because of what society will say or think. They are no longer connected in any way. But for the sake of their children or their religion or their community or profession, they need to continue to be seen as married. Society sees marriage as a sign of success, responsibility and dignity. A divorced person is viewed as someone with a question mark. Some religions frown at divorce. Divorced people lose certain rights and rating in their religion. Certain professions give subtle disadvantage to divorced people. Politics is one of them. The reasoning is that someone who cannot manage one person may not be able to manage many people.

For some, it is the fear of not being available for one’s children as they grow. It may also be the fear of not being able to take care of the needs of those children as a single parent in terms of finances or time. It may also be the fear of being seen as an irresponsible parent for being absent during the formative years of the children.

Social mates, therefore, ensure that the public sees them together. They tolerate each other’s presence because they do not want to face the societal consequences of not being together.

SOURCE : PUNCH

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